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Trusted Saskatoon funeral professionals discuss grief and the change of Seasons


 
Grief and the change of Seasons:
 
 
 
               Trust that you will find your way back to life just as the daffodil breaks through the frozen ground.
                                                                                                                                    Linda Lehmann

 

The first year following the death of a loved one you may reflect on the significant and insignificant events of your life from the previous year. You may catch yourself thinking, “Last year, at this time, we were…” Your memories of those seasons of life include your loved one and you may be painfully aware that when the season comes again, you will have lived a whole year without him or her. This reality confirms what you may already have known - that the physical presence of your loved one is lost forever, just like the last hint of snow that melts into the ground. And with that realization come a new sense of how time and the seasons pass.

The change of seasons signifies the many roles that your loved one played in each of the seasons of your life. These role losses may trigger your grief all over again. The subtle changes that signal the approach of a new season observed by others may be overshadowed by the grief that looms over each passing day for you. And then, before you know it, time has continued to tick off minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months as you are confronted with a new season that brings with it more loss and grief.

As each season arrives, ask yourself:

  • What roles did my loved one play in this season?
  • Who will fill that role now?
  • What role did I play in my loved one’s life that is now gone?

If no one can fill that role, you may need to ask for help from others who may be waiting for that opportunity. You will need to allow yourself to grieve the unique role your loved one played in your life, as well as the role you played in his or hers.

 

With each new time of year, you may find that your mood does not fit the season.

  • As spring arrives, you may feel like you are in the winter of your grief, only to be surrounded by new growth, new beginnings and people who talk about things like hope and anticipation of warmer weather.
  • Summer months are often spent doing family and outdoor activities that may heighten your sense of loss. The days full of despair may be longer than you would like them to be. It may be a beautiful day, but you may feel stone cold inside.
  • As the leaves fall from the trees in the fall and the growing season ends, you are reminded of the dullness and drabness of your life. Your grief may be in its fallow time, where everyday looks pretty much the same.
  • As the weather gets colder and forces you indoors, you may feel even more alone and isolated in your grief. The shorter days may amplify the night you feel in your soul.

It is important to surround yourself with the beauty of each new season in order to remind yourself that while you may be in the depths of your grief, you are in the midst of life.

  • Surround yourself with living things in order to reassure yourself that your grief will change like the seasons.
  • When you go outdoors, breathe in fresh air deeply to replace the stagnant air of grief.
  • Take a moment to feel the breeze against your face or the warmth of the sun against your skin. Remind yourself that you are still alive, even though your loved one has died.
  • Plant flowers to reassure you that plants grow with care. Remind yourself often, that your grief will ease if you honor it and take care of it. Indeed, you may find yourself growing in ways you could have never imagined.
  • If you have no seeds of hope, let someone else plant them for you. Surround yourself with others who will tend to you, encourage you, and provide an environment where you can do your work.

 

Remember, time alone will not heal your grief; it’s what you do with your time that heals your grief. Trust in the rhythm of your grief. Trust that someday in a new season you will find your way back to life just like the daffodil that breaks through the frozen ground back into the sunlight.

 

 


Trusted Saskatoon Funeral Experts answers your Questions


TrustedSaskatoon.com Talk to the ExpertsLegal and Professional Services Show -

Q: Nikki MacDonald: What's the most outlandish/oddest request you have received for a funeral service? Bonus question: do you refer to your "clients" as corpses or as the living-impaired? (lol, sorry, couldn't resist!)

We promote and encourage families to give us ideas by telling us about the person who has passed away. What were their interests, hobbies, jobs/career and what truly made this person who he/she was. This information helps our professional funeral directors create a meaningful life reflection that tells their story.

The term “corpse” is an old term that is rarely used other than in some movies. Although we do appreciate a sense of humor, we are always respectful at Hillcrest Funeral Home and will refer to deceased people by their names or as the decedent.

Q: Ann Lyte-Maille: If you prepay for your funeral and plots but then get divorced can you switch places or do you still have to spend eternity side by side?

A: This might be a more appropriate question for a lawyer but as far as I know, any property owned in a marriage is usually divided in a separation agreement. If we are speaking of a pre-paid funeral and not cemetery, they fall under a different Act, the Funeral and Cremation Services Council of Saskatchewan Act and the owner of that specific contract has the rights to that contract.

Q: M liz Beisel: Can you have a theme funeral or a home setting funeral?

A: Yes, as stated in a previous question, we guide people and offer ideas and advise to help them plan more meaningful or “theme” types of services. “An Evening to Remember” has become very popular. This type of service is usually held in our Reception Center with wine service or a full bar, with catering from as simple as appetizers to full course hot meals. These services typically include an M.C. to help keep the evening flowing, Memory Tribute Videos, and “open mic” for people to express their memories of the person and can end with a fireworks display. Our facility is unique in its’ size and location which allows us to offer services that are too difficult to handle elsewhere.

Q: Kaitlyn Mhairie Zeiler: When is the best time to start saving for your funeral, is it ever too soon?

A: This is a good question. We guarantee today’s prices for funeral home services and merchandise so the earlier you pre-pay the lower the cost because you save on any future inflation. Your money is held in trust and is always accessible to you at any time should you need it in the future.

Q: Darryl Spokes: Do you offer financing if someone dies young/ unexpectedly?

A: We can offer short term credit for special circumstances, however we are not unlike any other business that requires a cash flow therefore we do offer advice as to where funding can be obtained or make suggestions to obtain bank financing or the use of their credit card. Pre-paying for these costs could be covered by an “in-house” financing plan as the services and merchandise will not be used until the future.

Q: Deenna Dekker: Do you charge a fee per year for plots and upkeep? 

A: No, there is no fee per year for upkeep of cemetery property. By law, cemeteries must place a portion of the cost of the plot at the time of purchase, into a perpetual care fund. This fund is used for the upkeep of the cemetery after the cemetery is full. 

 

 

 


Trusted Saskatoon Legal and Professional Services Talk to the Experts Show

Trusted Saskatoon.com THE Saskatoon Directory   is proud to be hosting a Talk to the Experts show " The Trusted Show' Monthly on Newstalk 650 ..the first show aired June 9th 2012.  Find them all here in our tips library or on our Trusted Channel on You Tube which is a fabulous resource of Tips, Interviews, Demos and Tours.

What this means is you can listen to all the shows ON DEMAND, you can share them with friends who may be interested in the shows subjects and this makes sure you never have to miss a Trusted Show - we think out of the Box when it comes to marketing, so we can provide the BEST Possible service for YOU the public- we are the Only Local Directory that works for you...and the only  place to offer this kind of service in Saskatoon!  

This latest show we are featuring is the TRUSTED SASKATOON Directory Legal and Professional Show

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